Attention Brides & Mothers to be!!!!

Brides and Mothers to be - attention - take this lesson to heart - this will save you many many friends!!!

Tonight I went to the BEST bridal shower I have ever been to in my life! What made this shower so great - well I'll tell you - and I would prefer to tell you in a Bridal / Baby shower rule book format!

  1. Invite women and men, but don't make it a couples shower - just invite your friends whatever sex they may be - this is not the most important rule but it does keep women from sitting around talking about their babies and husbands all day and boring other women to death!
  2. Have real food - none of this mini quiche business and funky colored punch - we've all had that and it has been so over done that it is now called "shower food" - geeze bring on the real food - party food - guacamole, cut up some home baked pizza - whatever! Beer and wine preferred as well... Hi I just spent $45 dollars on some pillowcases for you, feed me!
  3. DON'T and I flippin can NOT emphasize this enough - Don't make me play shower games. I am a great conversationalist - I can entertain myself - I don't need to revert to 5th grade party games. They are awkward and you're only doing this because you think you have to, well you don't!
  4. Have some kickin music going on in the background - music brings everyone together - and nothing says shower like a little Tupac's Thug Mansion - kidding, but only a little bit.
  5. And THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE OF ALL - take me seriously on this. DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT open your presents at the shower/party!!!!!! Let's just be honest, we were forced to buy you a present off a list of crap YOU picked out. Don't act surprised that you got those sheets, you flippin picked them out and they were by the way ridiculously over priced! And how bored can we all be that you are opening baby bibs and bottles in front of us!! This is BORING - I'd rather watch dog's sniff each other's rears, at least there anything can happen!!!

Ok ladies - here it is - the secret to life. I can honestly say if you are reading this and I have been to your shower - yeah I was bored, no I didn't enjoy myself and yep I don't remember a flippin thing about that event - unless you followed the above rules - then I love you - enough to maybe even bring an extra gift to the hospital when you have the baby or the church when I go to your wedding!


    On 6:30 PM Nicole M said...

    Malita, well said! You should publish this stuff...I have never understood why even the hippest people revert to the old shower ways once they are headed down the marriage or baby path. So, I think it's time for a new list of rules! You've got a great start. I'd also add: DON'T MAKE ME ADDRESS MY OWN THANK YOU NOTE. Sister, you are the one gettin married - this is your job! Basically, anything that is done to make this "operation" of gift receiving more sterile is just plain tacky. A personal touch (like addressing your own d*mn thank you's) will go a long way. =)

    On 8:54 PM malita said...

    oh my goodness - if ANYONE made me address my own thank you card not only would I not do it but I would take back the gift! And I am not even kidding here people - that is just flippin tacky!!

    On 1:15 PM Noell said...

    Having been to my own share of showers, I must say that this is really good advice. Though I don't mind SOME of the games I've been forced to play - some are just downright terrible. You go girl.

    On 1:29 PM Suzi said...

    Okay, I'll conceded on the game playing.. If we're gonna play something, let's do something halfway decent like poker or the sort. I do have to disagree with ya on the gift opening thing though. 7 yrs ago at my sis-in-laws shower she didn't open them in front of the guests and I was pretty peeved... If I take the time to hunt down the perfect personalized gift for someone, the least they can do is opened the darned thing so I can enjoy a personal thank you.. Pre-addressing thank yous? Don't get me started on that! Those girls need to be shot! Or.. maybe... the guys need to join in the thank you writing 'fun' for a change!! lol That's it.. my 2 cents.. for what it's worth! :)

    On 3:59 PM Anonymous said...

    I think the fair readers (and writer) of this blog need to remember that it's typically NOT the bride who plans her own showers---so maybe the calls for a bridal firing squad are aiming the wrong direction?

    On 2:24 PM Gil said...

    Malita, I will follow you to the ends of the earth! do you offer life insurance? haha. But I agree with anonymous, Usually someone else needs to be shot. You are so right on this. I think too, there is a parent involved that is all telling the daughter what to do, and with the stress as high as it is, maybe the daughters just dont want to deal. I am on both sides of the fence in regards to gifts.
    So i will let my wife decide on that one when we have to kid. but this is all very good information!