The Mall Crawl

So I foolishly met the family at the Mall on Saturday - I'm pretty sure this is what hell will be like only darker and hotter and an increased number of screaming children.

First scene, the infamous food court. Storefronts of greasy, fatty low quality food at an incredible cheap price. Mmmm nothing makes my mouth water more than watching an overweight guy with his big hot mama chomping into a thick over sized slice of greasy pizza! Hey look there is a kid with ice cream all over her face, mmm I'll have that. And the vomit over by the little quarter rides, that does an appetite good! Oh hey we get to step over a spilt milk shake - what fun!

It is truly depressing - watching people wander up the mall and down the mall. Not buying anything just wandering. Parading their kids in front of crap they now won’t let them have. Listening to children scream over what they MUST have - I'm hearing the brat from Willy Wonka in my head..."but Daddy, I want an Umpa Loompa NOW!" A beautiful Fall afternoon spent in the mall.

I've never been a mall person and this is partly why, if I want to check out a particular store I run in and run out - forgoing the mall crawl. And a mall on vacation is the most ludicrous and sad thing I can think of... Upon returning from beautiful San Diego someone actually asked me if I visited the huge outlet mall there (????) oh yes I flew thousands of miles to see one of the most beautiful parts of our country and decided to spend what precious time I have there huddled inside a mall, feasting on the gourmet treats of the food court- brilliant!

And that’s my 2 cents for the day….Tune in next time to hear the rantings of WAL-MART - aka Satan’s Dominion!


    On 8:49 AM amanda said...

    If you need extra ammo for your Wal-Mart rant, I'm happy to contribute!


    walmart has always been the bane of my existence...