La Vie en Curlsz Part One

Alternately entitled - you should see the other guy!

So yes I am apparently getting OLD - I started the weekend off by taking a nasty spill in the shower - yep sign me up for the old folks home - apparently it is no longer safe to shower without the hand rails!
So after a little slip n slide I walked away with this lovely prize and a possible fractured elbow - I managed to wish away the fracture and all is well, but this little goose egg hurts like hell!!!

------------- my mother's response when I sent this -------------------
these will look even better in a few more days... plus there will be probably more... you sure your not in a domestic situation????? what does he look like????? just glad they are where they are and not in other places........ love mom
----------------- I love that she knows me so well to ask - what does he look like? And notice she is thankful of where my bruises are, wonder what she would say if she knew i posted them on the internet, so much for hiding those unsightly blemishes! Love ya ma!

Isn't she beautiful people... The story - my friend Davin found her and is keeping her till he hopefully finds her a new home or the true owners step up... Actually I'll just pass on the story and let you decide...

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"I'm looking for someone to adopt a beautiful 4-6 month old female Yellow Labrador Puppy. I found her a couple of days ago running the street, I took her to the vet and took her in because shelters here are full and they say that she would only have 3 days to be adopted or she would be put down (killed). She is a sweet, great looking dog and I would love to keep her, but she will be too big to keep with my other dog in an apartment. Let me know if you are interested and pass this on to others who may be interested and we can go from there.I have an ad in the paper and I will give the owner a week or so to turn up, but I want to have a plan "B" in place in the case they don't turn up, so please respond. "

So if you are interested no matter where you are let me know and I'll put yall in touch - yeah you found my soft spot - I move into action over canines!

If you haven't experienced an Alamo Drafthouse sing along - I highly recommend - especially if you are a music lover!

Last night I and my "date" (ps it's definitely a bonus to have the Austin Air Guitar Champ - Mr. Alamo Drafthouse- as a date ---- Thanks John!!) celebrated Paul McCartney's 64th birthday with a PACKED theater of fans! They brought streamers, birthday cakes and noise makers. We even had lighters (too bad half the time they didn't work). The MC's were dressed as Paul from Sgt Pepper's Lonely Heart Club Band - and a Walrus - (the Wallrus is from Magical mystery Tour - song "I am the walrus", just incase you were wondering)...

They promote noise and dancing - grab a bucket o beer or pitcher, your noise makers and silly string - and you have the makings of FUN! Plus a Beatle's Sing A Long - how can you loose?

July is all about Queen - I will definitely be there! With a working lighter!! I'm telling you, you do not want to miss out!

Oh we are lovin our cell phones - so much so that we have forgotten our BASIC manners of when is and is NOT an appropriate time to be on the phone... enter today's rant!

I hate when people are on their cell phones when they are...

1. In the public bathroom stall - are you kidding me here - just do your business and take the call when you finish - what that's all of 5 minutes at the most that person will have to wait to hear your dazzling voice - I think they can handle it...meanwhile just pee and shut up!
2. The gym - specifically the cardio machine directly next to me. You're not working out at this point - you mide as well go sit your fat but on the bench and have this conversation b/c all your doing is buggin me. I've got my headphones on, player blasting and I can still hear your thoroughly uninteresting conversation!
3. While your trying to place your order or your checking out at the grocery store. Oh my gosh how rude can you get - were you raised by wolves? You have completely communicated to the serviceman behind the counter that they are completely not worth your time or attention, that their job is second to your oh so important giggly conversation!
4. While your shopping at the store - usually at the busiest time of day! Shut up - get out of the way, we don't want to hear your convo - we just want to shop - excuse me lady on the phone I need to get to those purses, yes you - shut up and move! Maam you just hit that kid with your bag because you are completely unaware their is a world going on outside of your lame phone call - hang up!

Moral of all this - SHUT UP and get off your phone - there is a world going on out there and its not about you and your lame convo - there are people that don't want to hear your conversation and you are being rude! This conversation can wait - better yet go to a less public place and talk - go over to the ethnic foods aisle, the plant aisle, the embarrassing medicinal cream aisle - they are the least populated areas of the store. Go just GO! It's not that important... I'd bet if that person on the other end of the line was with you - you'd be on the phone with someone else. Is that it, it's not about the call it's just about being on the phone? Are we that insecure and disconnected that we can't be without our phones to our ears???

What would happen if you just left your phone in your car while you worked out or shopped? Would your world end - would your life be over - would you panic and die? Let's find out.

See what the "experts" have to say

10 Commandments of Cell Phone Use

Cell Phone Etiquette Guide

Microsoft Small Business

Yep John won!!! He won the Austin Championship! He is now going to NY in 2 weeks to compete for the National Title - not kidding!!!

Hopefully footage will be up soon - I'll get back with ya!

Congrats Thunderpants you deserve it!

I FINALLY posted new arrivals to my site - Procrastination, perfectionism, business - all dangerous evils that have gotten in my way.

This weekend - I was "coordinator" to my friend Lindsay (now Thomas) wedding at Becker Vineyards. It was an incredible wedding with God's beauty and brilliance all around - in many forms. It was an honor for Lindsey to ask this of me - it was flattering when guests came up and asked me how long I (and my fabulous "assistant" Ashley) had been coordinating weddings!!! HA - apparently I looked like a natural with my clipboard - if only they had given me a headset...

I love vineyard's - it is my happy place. I love learning about the wines and the incredible beauty of it all... If you get a chance I highly recommend this vineyard. It has been a favorite spot of mine (just outside of Fredricksburg) for years. Take the wine cellar tour, it's one of the only vineyards in the area with an actual cellar.

Hope you enjoy the pictures and the vineyard...

I feel its my duty and privledge to announce the lineup!

ACL Lineup

Van Morrison, Ben Harper, Willie Nelson, Nickel Creek, John Mayer, Damien Rice, Calexico, Ray Lamontagne, Aimee Mann, Matisyahu, Jose Gonzalez, South Austin Jug Band.... Ok I'll stop - there are much much more to be excited about ......!

As spring comes to an end and summer - aka hell on earth in Texas - begins.... schedules slow down, vacations start, school will be out, fun will be had by all....

Unless you are in Real-estate!! Oh yes friends - my blog life has suffered as has allot of life - because spring and summer is THE busiest time of year for a realtor! Equate it with the first 3 months of school, Congress in session, Holiday shopping - getting my drift.....

So I pre apologize for those that are keeping up with me via the life of the internet- any free time I have I will be trying my HARDEST to have some kind of summer life - I mean the lake needs me, my friends need me, a list of restaurants with outdoor patios and great happy hour specials really need me!! Weddings, yeah they don't so much need me.... And then fall will come - the rest of you people will get insanely busy and I will head to Napa for a much needed vacation! No worries - any brilliant thoughts or rants will still come this way! Those don't ever take a vacation, just get a bit delayed!

What number 1:
I'm waiting outside Trudy's Central for a table and in the middle of a deep conversation my friend Stephanie gets this look of horror on her face and says what in the world! Well this is Austin, she could be seeing anything at this point - cross dresser, no dresser etc. I was not prepared for what my eyes beheld - a guy in PLAID shorts with a HORIZONTAL striped shirt!!! Now you may be saying - what that’s it - no people - It was bad!!! It was the worst fashion no no I have seen in a long time. I mean chains and leather - he's just weird - but plaid and stripes - well he's just obviously ignorant!!!

What number 2:
We then sit at our table and I notice on the menu under the desserts Trudy's sells cigarettes!!!! So i ask our waiter - do you sell them singularly or in packs - he says oh definitely in packs! What restaurant sells cigarettes and displays them under the dessert menu? Yes I'd like the brownie sundae and oh wow I'm so glad you sell cigarettes here, stick a couple in my ice cream - I may die of cancer but that damn dessert isn't going to make my ass big today!

What number 3 - the biggest what of all!
I have not actually seen it yet - but I head my beloved Chris got voted off. I have no use for American Idol anymore - they are dead to me!

If you are not an idol fan that's ok - I generally hate the show in the beginning b/c it's well it's pretty stupid watching people butcher music - but when it gets to this point where real talent is being shown I really enjoy it.

I am pulling for Chris here - watch this performance and you'll see why! This is amazing - oh why is he married??!!

This is amazing, sad and hilarious all at once!

Who knew so many different nerves could be hit by writing a blog expressing one persons views on a bridal or baby shower!!! No I didn't write about my political views on terrorism, world hunger, and prayer in school. Nor did I write my faith filled opinions on the divinity of Christ or the inherency of the Bible... I wrote on a SHOWER and got more passionate opinions and obviously hurt feelings than any of the above hot buttons would publicly generate by the average citizen!! Maybe - ha!! Dang I’m proud! ----> particularly my "anonymous" reader - wow you know you are creating waves when the anonymous ones come out of the shadows long enough to voice their opinion - remaining veiled of course.

I have had numerous people even come up and tell me that they read this blog to their - mother who plans showers, sister who is getting married, co worker that has a sister getting married - and the list goes on! Some have even said they forwarded this on to several girlfriends that will or have embarked upon the shower ritual... Who knew - this is a major global issue!!

And that is the twisted beauty of the American Society - particularly the Bible Belt - we have passionate feelings about our showers, rather our rituals and traditions, and are willing to go to the death for our views on them. Especially the bridal rituals – whew, this alone could start some wars – Bridezilla’s and their mother’s versus the rest of the world!

Wow if only we could use our powers for good rather than frivolousness - and I include myself in that... Ok let us now move on to bigger and grander adventures together - and leave the passionate pleadings of shower food and games behind us. No worries ladies, no one has passed an edict against such festivities - carry on!

And the world breathes a collective sigh, it’s o.k. Mr. President, I handled this crisis... we can now rest easy and go on with those minor world issues at hand - the shower détente is under control... the rebels have subsided.

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In the spirit of this blog and shower season - have a laugh on me. This message was brought to you by:

Going Bridal, Confessions of a Bridezilla - especially the bad bridal dress section!

My fave for many years - Ugly Dresses. com

And of course the most genius use of a bridesmaid's dress!

Brides and Mothers to be - attention - take this lesson to heart - this will save you many many friends!!!

Tonight I went to the BEST bridal shower I have ever been to in my life! What made this shower so great - well I'll tell you - and I would prefer to tell you in a Bridal / Baby shower rule book format!

1. Invite women and men, but don't make it a couples shower - just invite your friends whatever sex they may be - this is not the most important rule but it does keep women from sitting around talking about their babies and husbands all day and boring other women to death!
2. Have real food - none of this mini quiche business and funky colored punch - we've all had that and it has been so over done that it is now called "shower food" - geeze bring on the real food - party food - guacamole, cut up some home baked pizza - whatever! Beer and wine preferred as well... Hi I just spent $45 dollars on some pillowcases for you, feed me!
3. DON'T and I flippin can NOT emphasize this enough - Don't make me play shower games. I am a great conversationalist - I can entertain myself - I don't need to revert to 5th grade party games. They are awkward and you're only doing this because you think you have to, well you don't!
4. Have some kickin music going on in the background - music brings everyone together - and nothing says shower like a little Tupac's Thug Mansion - kidding, but only a little bit.
5. And THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE OF ALL - take me seriously on this. DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT open your presents at the shower/party!!!!!! Let's just be honest, we were forced to buy you a present off a list of crap YOU picked out. Don't act surprised that you got those sheets, you flippin picked them out and they were by the way ridiculously over priced! And how bored can we all be that you are opening baby bibs and bottles in front of us!! This is BORING - I'd rather watch dog's sniff each other's rears, at least there anything can happen!!!

Ok ladies - here it is - the secret to life. I can honestly say if you are reading this and I have been to your shower - yeah I was bored, no I didn't enjoy myself and yep I don't remember a flippin thing about that event - unless you followed the above rules - then I love you - enough to maybe even bring an extra gift to the hospital when you have the baby or the church when I go to your wedding!

I know I've now gone video crazy - but I have to share this - this is sooo great and all my good Ags out there will love me for this!

This is great! - And to clarify I did NOT write this - it was an email I got - I just whole heartidley agree with it!

New Rules For 2006
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New Rule 1: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule 2: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, the chili costs less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout? Luckily, it was only a finger! If it were a whole hand, Congress would have voted to keep it alive.

New Rule 3: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.

New Rule 4: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule 5: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule 6: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the a**hole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge a**hole.

New Rule 7: Girls, just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. Come on, it's right above the crack of your ass and it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You were just high when you picked it out.

New Rule 8: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule 9: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule 10: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

New Rule 11: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.

Ahhhh a new journal - a new start - I love starting a new journal. Almost as much as I treasure and relish in finishing a journal. It's a bitter sweet ending, and for those that are not "journalers" bear with me.

When you start a new journal it's excitement and freshness. You can't wait to get home from the bookstore to open up to this new friend. Introduce yourself and let the ideas and emotions flow. It's the one new friend in life you aren't afraid to let them know everything about yourself in the first 5 pages! You open it up and date that first page - you even put the year down. You might even feel so zealous and ambitious to title your first entry and put your name down on the inside cover.

The days go by and every time you pick up your new friend you feel comforted, you feel safe, you feel honest! You look at the cover and reaffirm yourself that you picked the right one, how pretty it is, the fact that this time you got a leather bound one or a spiral one, you know you made the right decision in picking this friend. You hit that point in the journal where you are realizing life is going by fast and things are changing so much that you get curious at who you were when you first started your life with this new journal. So you take a peek back at previous entries. Sometimes laughing at how dramatic you were about somethings, sometimes tearing up remembering the pain that went into that entry, the joy that went on to that page, or the uncertainty that still exists over those issues.

Then the day comes, you are nearing the end. You can literally flip only a few pages ahead and you see the inside flap of that last page..... you start to get a little excited, yeah I get to get a new journal. Then you get a little sad, wow where did the time go, my old friend it's almost time to say goodbye. You take a moment and re read through your old friend, finish out those last pages and you shut the journal. You put it on the shelf, you know you will visit again but it's time to move on. You realize it's like finishing a really good book or a really good movie, you can re read it... re watch it, but it's not the same. You have changed so much - between the front and back flaps of that journal - so much has changed, you have learned so much about life and yourself...and others.

And then you get home with the new journal, and you excitedly start all over again.

Wow what a great Saturday - took my best friend house hunting and wrote up an offer for her (my first official deal by the way!) - then sat under the stars and moon to listen to THE ONE AND ONLY David Gray sing just for me! I was nice enough to allow about 500 other people to join my serenade though - yes I'm a sweety!

Now for those of that don't know this trivia about Miss Jones -

1. once she falls in love with a musician full throttle obsession kicks in gear
2. when she gets to go to their concerts it is a religious experience in her heart
3. and finally she LOVES and has loved for many years Mr. David Gray

I love him, I really love him, I love him for the man he is and the man he could be Laurel I really love him - oh wait sorry that line is for a different occasion... moving on.

He opened with Alibi off his new album - amazing!! Then moved into Sail Away - ok one more song and I can die happy (another piece of trivia - Sail Away brings up fond fond memories of the Virgin Island for me) - eventually got to This Years Love - ok that's it I can now die happy - oh but their was more - the ultimate Mr. Gray songs were still to be sung - finally here we are Shine and Babylon - or as one friend likes to call it - Babble On... well David's Welsh makes for an interesting song at times. The final song was the most random moment though - The Cure's "I'm in Love" but whatever - sing patty cake at this point I don't mind!

And as always this romantic moment was spent with the one person in my life that I tend to end up with in all romantic situations ---- Lindsay ---- yeah don't get the wrong idea here, it just tends to happen. Romantic St. Thomas, Cozumel, candle lit dinners and David Gray under the moon - always with one of my chicka dees!