La Vie en Curlsz Part One

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This lovely surprise popped up in my flower bed over night - it took a while to bloom though and this is what came of it - isn't it great!? Nothing was planted there - it just came out of now where!

For those that confuse Barack Obama with Osama bin Laden apparently you are not alone...

Gag - Fashion Alert, Croc's now invade winter wear!

So at this point - you've just given up on life right? You've said to hell with it, I don't care how ridiculous or bad I look, Micky Mouse has survived all these years in this shoe, so will I. And for the winter maybe I can find some lined with cotton balls or pillow stuffing - I'll have it made all year long!

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Highlights & Lessons from The Canopy Tours

If you are a nature junkie, a heights junkie or just love swinging from the trees you'd love the Canopy Tours - Not only was it beautiful and educational (I sound like I should work for PBS) but it was tons of fun....

Highlights:

1. The 20 something year old guides (male) asking a group of women ages 27-32 "so what school do you all go to?" - wow thanks!
2. In regards to using a outhouse vs peeing behind a tree "If I squat behind a tree I'm liable to have a chicken peckin at my ass" (yes there were chickens running around the property.
3. Originally we had heard about a lake they had on the property and thought it would be fun to swim - after seeing it however it quickly became labeled "Lake Typhoid" and was to be avoided at all costs - our guides did not agree with our label.
4. Upon the guides showing us how to put our harness on - one friend whom shall remain nameless says "oh no worries, I have spent quite a bit of time in harnesses" - the room quickly grew silent, only to be followed by tear filled laughter.
5. The constant banter between our group and our guides
   
6. One friend asking the guide "do you ever zip down with people ?" (she was a bit timid of the heights) - his response "yeah with little girls" - that ended that discussion
7. Lunch at Angels with a red laced bra, scrunchy wearing waitress referred to us as honey or in the plural sense honeies (not sure how to spell that plural form)
   

Lessons

1. Don't wear shorts - unless you love spending the next hour and half digging them out of all your knook and crannies - also this makes for great thigh shots in all your pictures - not flattering
2. Bring your own gloves if the idea of wearing used sweaty gloves makes you want to wretch
3. Our guides told us we were there best group and wished all his groups could be like us - it's only b/c we actually engaged in conversation with them - most groups just keep quite and maintain blank looks throughout the tour - a big boring for them.

Good grief I don't have 8 people to tag - they all tagged each other! Can we retag??

The Rules:
1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

My eight random facts and/or habits:

1. I am a coffee snob- No fruffy dulce de amaretto de soy de pay out the butt coffee please - just coffee - I know this goes against everything Starbucks stands for and therefore I love it! My favorites right now are Peruvian blends - it's all about the blend, not how much crap you can put in it and no flavoring - a purest you could say.
2. I love Perrier - Lime Perrier - I drink it by the gallons! I also love that it comes in a pretty green bottle.
3. I read constantly - I carry a book with me in my purse, I read while a movie is going on at home - I can't stop.
   
4. I hate theme parks & cruises. They are just obnoxious to me. You can throw malls in on that as well.
   
5. I often (not always) echo in French - meaning when I speak a phrase the French translation echos in my head - I have tried to stop - apparently I can't - the voices won't stop.
   
6. I constantly correct grammar- whether I am reading something or someone says something - in my head I am constantly correcting - I would love to be a book editor - apparently there is a lot going on in my head (I have sense enough not to correct the person out loud)
   
7. I can not spell definitly or resturaunt (I am purposely leaving them mis spelled here for your benefit)
   
8. I love being at home - I crave it - it's my happy place - I take every opportunity to work from home, run home before going to work out, run home just before or after an appointment - home home home - but I was NOT like this growing up - odd.
   

I sit on my big olive green couch writing this blog - preparing to say adieu.... to the couch that is.

Yes today is my last day with the big overstuffed green couch, ottoman and large chair - they are heading to Dallas this weekend - to meet their new owners. Luckily they are going to a good home - I hope my dear friends Brent, Rebeca and baby Caroline will enjoy them as much as I have.

Ok - I am normally NOT sentimental to belongings - and really it's not the furniture itself, but more what they signify in my life. This set of furnitures was the first major purchase after college graduation. It was the newest furniture I had ever owned (I still have the bed frame that my grandparents had from 1930!) and for the first time it was mine - not a hand me down from a roommates uncle's mother - but mine!

To top it off - I paid it off early! I was so proud - I still remember walking in to Star Furniture in Bryan Texas to make a payment thinking I had one more to go, they handed me my receipt with a zero balance - Not wanting to question it but curiosity getting the best of me I piped up stating that I thought I had one more payment. "You have consistently paid on time and therefore have an early payment bonus, you have no remaining payments"

In my heart, I jumped for joy...

But it's time to move on - so farewell old "friend". Unfortunately, I will be without a couch for a week - we're going to have to get creative on this one - it's like college all over again, how fitting.

I've decided when Casey and I venture out we inevitably turn into the old me from the muppets that sit in the balcony observing and making whitty comments on the sights they see below.

We both are self proclaimed people watching experts - it helps that we live in one of the most interesting people watching cities in the nation... But this weekend was an all time best.

I have decided to label it - Fat America weekend...

First a trip to the Round Rock Express game - I have no idea how the game went - but I can certainly tell you what everyone in our parameter looked like and behaved like. Good gosh we have some unhealthy individuals in this country - oh sir please that is your 4th beer, second hot dog and yes now lets top it off with a funnel cake and peanuts- all the while you are sitting on your %&*# just getting larger and larger as the time goes on. Mullet count, 4! And remember when wearing the same color shirt, shorts and shoes was cool? No I don't either.

Next on the agenda is the summer production of "My Favorite Year" at Zilker Park - every summer they do a hillside production, this was my first - very fun! But the people watching and fabulous weather topped the performance.

I'm sure Casey will post the pics that we covertly snapped of the "theater goers" - First we have" momma and pappa extra larger serving" and their new adorable baby that is resigned to the life their parents lead. The first thing I notice is pappa XL has got with him the largest "mug" I have ever seen - It's probably the equivalent of 6 liters - by the end of the night that thing ended up in the stroller!!! They each had giant bowls of pasta that they devoured with chop sticks - the thing was each bowl contained enough to feed a person for a week - no exaggeration - it was easily 4-6 servings in each bowl. Each bite was at least 3 bites in one!!!

Next - Dominoes Pizza family behind us - EACH family member had their OWN medium sized pizza that they finished off separately!!! THERE OWN PIZZA!!!! No matter there are people in the US and abroad dying of starvation - here in American we each have our own pizza that we will finish off in one sitting!!!!

Oh there were others - let's talk about the woman behind us that had an large battery powered fan propped between her legs - The suburban dad that kept his hat bill turned to the side the majority of the night - Mr. Denim no shirt man - that constantly played with his t-shirt debating whether to put it on but "I am too sexy for this shirt, no?"

Oh the list goes on - photos to prove all of this here... In the meantime I am calling the American Heart Association to suggest they start attending all events where there is constant sitting involved, sitting and eating, eating and sitting...

See pics here - Casey's Blog

Imagine for yourself

Beat up old Volvo - flying down Hwy 183 - Weaving in and out of traffic - All windows down - Bat out of Hell

But the bat knows the proper hand signals for changing lanes - I assume her blinker no longer works

So now imagine - Beat up Volvo - flying down Hwy 183 - Weaving in and out of traffic - All windows down - Bat out of Hell- Courteously giving all the proper hand signals as she weaves from one lane to the other....

Title quoted by Spence - King of Queens

I love Last FM - it's a fun little music addition to the ol computer - You play your music library, whether it's through ITunes or what have you - and Last FM compiles your favorite type of music etc. Then you can play what they recommend for you based on what you have recently played. A bit like a personalized radio station.

It's great! Except occasionally it goes a bit wonky.

Today I played ONE Alanis Morrisette song- it wasn't even a man hater song - it was a cover version of Seal's "Crazy". Next thing I know I have a play list of Tracy Chapman, Liz Phair and The Indigo Girls!!!

So my Last FM thinks I'm a lesbian? I quickly started playing some non sexually biased music - just to get the facts straight and all - no pun intended.

YIKES! I'm sure the neighbors of this older, wealthier community love this!

Finally a sunny day today!!! Check out these Austin rain stats.
-------------
Days since rains began: 44

Homes destroyed by flooding: 1,000

Flood-related deaths: 11

Estimated cost of damages in Burnet County alone: $30 million

Number of emergency Texas National Guard soldiers activated by Governor Perry throughout the state: 250

Total impacted area, spanning North Texas to the Rio Grande Valley, in square miles: 48,000

Height, in feet above sea level, of Lake Travis when considered "full": 681

Height of Lake Travis on July 4th: 701

All-time record height, from Christmas of 1991: 710.44

Floodgates currently open at Mansfield Dam: 4

Discharge capacity of each floodgate, in gallons per second: 35,682

Total inflow of floodwaters through Highland Lakes and Lake Travis, in gallons: 228 billion

Taken from The Austinist

Yes we've got fun and games...

So it has become a habit of mine to walk occasionally jog through my neighborhood park - it is a gorgeous park complete with creeks, caverns, trees and apparently adventure. (Park pictured here)

I've walked this park for years, but recently it has become routine for me to see the most bizare acts of nature. For the longest time it was just a homeless guy on a bench - no worries, he was asleep and in no condition to chase me down - so I moved on. Then it was a snake - a very large water snake in the creek I have to cross by jumping rock to rock.

Ok I can deal with that - it is a creek after all. THEN the freakshow hit. As I was crossing a very low bridge one day I saw a giant rodent of some sort. Now anyone who's known me for 5 minutes or longer knows I am deathly afraid of anything rodent. But this time I was more amazed and confused. I could not for the life belive what I thought I was seeing - is it a beaver, is it an otter?? We were very close but I couldn't stop staring as he stared at me, each of us weighing our options. We slowly passed each other, each afraid of any sudden movments. Then he swam under the water crossing. So of course I tell everyone "I saw a beaver" - everyone belived I had seen something but are there beavers in Texas? Ok an otter maybe? Are there otters in Texas - I don't know but I know I saw something.

So today my brilliant friend Amanda says "Maybe you saw a Nutria" - A nutria??? I don't know what those look like - no one else has thought of this - maybe she's right - so I google it.

Yeah she was right - it was a nutria - YIKES - LOOK AT THAT GIANT RODENT!!!! If I had known that is what I was seeing - I would have run the other way.... Geeze this picture alone is causing me to sweat! I can not believe I did not freak. Look at that tail!!!!

Well in addition to this I have seen a grackle eating a lawn snake, and most recently a turtle swimming with a dead squirrel on it's back - I think the squirrel was stuck on his back.... Welcome to Austin's wild kingdom...

Recently every outing with the gal pals has started to resemble a sitcom - We have decided the show will be called "Disgruntled: Single, Sassy and Screwed"

The pilot will include various antics the characters find themselves in

• spraying chloroseptic spray at a baseball game when she can't get to the snack bar for a drink
• daily battles with the apartment maintenance men - including the one that thought it's ok to leave explosive diarrhea behind in a tenants toilet
  
• hoping to meet single guys at a game to then be surrounded by geriatrics
  
• exclaiming to the printing guy "just don't screw me"
  
• dealing with an apartment neighbor that has insisted on making the common grounds her front yard
  
• announcing to the coffee shop workers that their system of business is inefficient and ridiculous
• not understanding bean is a symbolic phrase for lesbian thus exclaiming she loves black beans

The pilot ending with the girls enjoying gelato only to then be attacked by a giant flying roach thus ending the evening as they scream and scurry away to their cars - the one friend having been inside and missed the incident has not a clue what happened or why the evening is now over. Cut to credits and music.

No not me - my fish...

Yes I have a fish - a beta fish - my co worker thought it would be really cute to get us Beta's - mine is red - her name is Roja or sometimes Rouge - depending on my mood. This fish has been an investment - quite a bit more than what I wanted in life.

She is a feisty one - which is fitting considering her owner - my other co worker got a blue one and she is pretty mellow - which is also fitting.

So my fish is filthy - she dirties her water daily - while the other fish (Easy E) keeps her water sparkling clean - I don't get it. So yesterday I had to change her water it was disgusting. I put these drops in vs the tablets I normally use. All of a sudden the feistiness was gone. She barely swam around - she was dying.

Oddly enough I actually freaked out - over a fish - but I have gotten somewhat attached. I didn't want her to die. So I got her out of there and changed out her water - fully expecting her to go belly up any moment. It took about half an hour and she began to come back to life - I was so relieved. Today she is her normal feisty self.

Did you know Beta's recognize their owners? I know it's odd - but every time I come to work and sit down she gets so excited - she just wants more blood worms (yes I said it, she eats blood worms ...mmmm mmm right?)

So that was the near brush with death - Of course today her water is already dirty!

My gosh Texas is hell in the summer.... I fondly dream of my time in California - 74 degrees in the day 54 at night - ahhhh!!!

In honor - I have FINALLY uploaded some of my pictures into the New Arrivals section of my website....

California Pictures

Every woman should have a pair of red shoes... Now it is no secret Amelda Marcos and I share a hobby... shoes - I think it is a part of my DNA - nevertheless I will pin this one on my mother as well for now.


Back to red shoes - there is something so beautiful about a pair of red shoes. And I believe it stems to a little girls child hood. Dorthy fought the powers of evil for her ruby slippers (I mean talk about fighting for your shoes, put her at a Nieman's season sale any day). And remember those great plastic clack clack shoes - you always ended up fighting over the red ones!

Yes this is pure fluff - but for some reason a great pair of red shoes will do you good! There is indeed no place like home.

No not Toyota - a short hair picture - only by request do I post pics of myself...

The before (long hair) was middle of the shoulder blades - dramatic change indeed but I love it!!

...and two helpings of the ridiculous for dessert....

Then may I suggest "The Fountain"? with Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz - it is sure to satisfy all of your depressing and unfulfilled needs - believe me there are no redeeming qualities to this menu.

Chalk - watch, love, LAUGH!

Really - Chalk is a mocumentary that closely resembles the TV show "The Office" but with teachers.

Having been a former teacher and having many many teacher friends including a roommate - Chalk hits the target, dead on.

For Austinites you can see it at the S Lamar Alamo Drafthouse the remainder of the week.

Check the website etc. For all other showings.

What is it about hair that we form a major attachment to? Samson's strength was found in his long locks, Crystal Gail fashioned an entire identity and career after it - I like that I just jumped from Samson to Crystal Gail. Jennifer Aniston single handedly created one of the most requested hairstyles from one look. And every white southern baptist preacher is identified with one "do"....

Hair is a major identity - and long hair is a source of comfort for many. I have been pondering chopping the locks for a while now and have resisted. This is unlike me - my hair has been every length under the son. It's just hair - it will grow back. It is currently the longest it has every been - and thank you to a few fabulous hairdressers it is no longer the poofy giant mess it has been in the past! It can go from frizzy kinky curly to a soft wave in zero to sixty, well zero to 15 minutes I should say.

So the decision was made to finally do it - while working out strangely enough. So I immediately called my hairdresser to make the appointment, before I chickened out. But it's odd, I find myself fixing my hair all the while almost saying goodbye to it - ridiculous I know. I'll catch a glimpse of my hair in the mirror and think, goodbye friend..... And every day I have found myself going back and forth over it - geeze!!! Maybe I'll just follow in Britney's footsteps - grab me the shears.

Sad goodbyes to the Gilmore Girls tonight- for 7 years I have defended my love for this quirky little TV series. Many times I myself was surprised I enjoyed the idiotic chatter as much as I did. Something about the oddities of the town and the pointless banter made me smile. But tonight was the tear filled series finale.

I was amongst the many that felt it was time to pull the plug - but never the less...Series finale's are often major tear jerker's - which at the end you are just begging for more - a good sign of a good finale.

So au revoir Gilmore's - it's been lovely. I too will miss these 7 things about Gilmore Girls.

So we went to see "Georgia Rule" tonight. At this point I had seen one preview, months ago, so I didn't really know much about it.

First off we are a bit alarmed - there were very few attendees under the age of 75 ... My neighbor to the left was trying to kill gnats that are only buzzing near her, could it be because she was holding a tasty little movie theater hot dog that was causing the theater to wreak? Are we at the ballpark?

Basically to sum it up - this movie gets an F. The story line was just off - the character development was lacking and in typical Garry Marshall fashion he threw in a lot of the same faces just f0r the nostalgia of it all - do these actors travel in packs with him (referencing Runaway Bride, The Princess Diaries, Raising Helen etc... )

It was even more sad to hear the others say things like "oh I get it, I was confused that she..." - it was one of the most simplistic idiot proof plots - what's not to get???

I have yet to watch one single episode of this season's Bachelor - she proclaims with pride - I banned the show a few years ago simply because watching one schmuck woo 20 emotionally unstable self centered women was more than I could handle. Only to get to the bottom I mean top 3 emotionally self centered women as they cry "I am falling in love with a man that may love two other women!" - Bingo genius - and this is what you volunteered for - take it.

However, this year I am now basically watching the show as a third party - My friend Casey replays the highlights to me (sorry to out you Casey). I have found this to be better than watching the show itself - she is indeed one of the best story tellers I know.... So no need to watch the show ... or so I thought... until she turned me on to this blog.

Enter the Bachelor Recap Blogger - A small town Texas girl with a HUGE sense of humor. I promise you this blog will not disappoint - It is packed with entertainment.

She often begins an entry with...
The following information you are about to read is of personal opinion. If this e-mail circulates to friends, family, enemies...that is your business. However, if you or someone in your address book happens to personally know, sort of know, know the brother/cousin of, thought you saw in the grocery store buying Spring Oreos and Spaghetti O’s or have a spin instructor that looks exactly like one of the Bachelorettes on the show...none of this is personal and I'm sure they are all lovely people.

The best part - I in no way feel I need to watch this show to enjoy the humor of it all.

Me: Cheers to bailing on wedding receptions for South Congress dessert.

Julie: Yes Cheers (her glass in the air) cheers everyone

(all glasses, mugs go in the air and we actually cheers - even though I was speaking figuratively)

laughter all around

Julie: What I love to cheer!

Week's Loves:

1. Memoires Afffectives - aka Looking for Alexander - this film is not for everyone - I absolutely LOVED it - it truly is a brilliant film and is one of the most challenging films I have ever seen. And for cinematography junkies it is AMAZING!!! If you can get your hand on a copy and you like challenging non Hollywood films that DON'T spoon feed you the plot then grab it!

2. Blake's version of Bon Jovi's "Shot Through the Heart"- BRILLIANT!

3. Epiphany's - what a euphoric feeling when you figure something out - when the light bulb goes off and you receive insight!

4. Ebay - you can find the most rare and random of item's - great place for foreign films. You can even purchase the General Lee!!! For a mere few million!

5. Solitude - a dose 'ill do ya - it's a beautiful thing.

6. My living room - I have this great wall of window's - crank windows - with trees looming above - it's so green right now for all the rain - it makes a great view!

7. Spending time with the fam - nothing better than blowing bubbles with a two year old - listening to a 10 year old's rambling stories and bathing a baby - then being able to go home with NO children! Quote of the night - Cami showing me her freckle "wook at my wittle mowle".

Week's Not So Much...

1. Humidity - don't mind the rain but ugh the humidity
   
2. Dirty kitchen - good grief when was the last time this floor was swept - ick!
3. In fact my whole house could use a major cleaning and I am not motivated to do it - any volunteers?
4. Wedding Receptions - showers have been on the list for a while now - receptions just made it - no offense and not any one in specific - I'm just over them - an evening of forced fun for everyone - hours of small talk, mini foods and watching the bride and groom awkwardly make their way through the room.

I mean there is only so much of "hey how are you, good and you, yeah good, busy, yeah me too busy... well great to see you (awkward pause) yeah you too - bye - ARGH KILL ME!

I think I should like to share a week end review - the things that I have enjoyed, hated, done etc. Every week. PS this will be an assortment of frivolity, superficiality, depth and randomness... that I can always guarantee.

This week's loves:

• California weather - no humidity - pictures to come soon. Austin weather the last couple of days - pure treat!

• My new shoes (pictured below) - bringing the 1930's back - do you see why I hate Croc's?
• 
• Ugly Betty - great week - so cute!
• Working from home in the mornings - can it last?
• My fanny pack I use for run/walks - dorky no - it's a sports one - very useful!! Thank you Betty Sport - my favorite sports shop.
• Piperlime.com - new shoe site - like I need a new shoe dealer
• French - I am rediscovering my love for this language - I have had 8 official years of it and should know it better - after being burnt out on it for a while I am realizing I miss hearing it. My listening and reading abilities surpass my speaking abilities by far. Hopefully this won't end like the cello lessons did.
  
• French films - lately French Canadian - there are some amazing Quebecois films and actors. Particularly Roy Dupuis, mmmm mmm good! I feel like I discovered a huge buried treasure here with the French Canadian community.
  
• New fun blog - I Am Fashion
• Naughty Monkey - get your mind out of the gutter - it's a shoe brand - yes are you seeing the obsessed pattern. They are very comfy.
  
• The fact the African Children's Choir was on Idol the other night - I have seen these precious children perform - they are too amazing!! If you have any desire to learn about them and support them I encourage you too - it's an amazing program.
  

Hates of the week

• Izzy from Gray's Anatomy - ugh her character is too much for me. I do not like her. Have never really liked George.
  
• Gas prices - hello $2.75 in Austin - $3.75 and up in Southern California - insane!!! I'm walking.
• Food - I've been in one of those I don't want food moods. Nothing sounds good, I'd rather just take a pill that will expand in my stomach and provide nourishment to me - did George Orwell come up with that one or is that all me?
• The fact that "That Beautiful Somewhere" is not opening in the U.S. - at least not now.
  
• A love/hate with this one - Remainder by Tom McCarthy - it is so odd I couldn't even begin to describe it - yet parts of it I really enjoyed.
• Laundry - it has taken over my room
• Sunburned forehead - the peeling effects. Ick!

I'll just leave it at that for now.

I want you to get into the deep beautiful melancholy of everything that's happened.

"Claire" Kirsten Dunst - Elizabethtown

This is perfect!!! And compliments an earlier rant so well.

Maybe I should try this with the mice!

This would most definitely be my child - Notice the contemplation at the end!

Story of the day: Ratting on the Rents

Lying in bed last night - dozing off and all of a sudden I hear something moving and scrambling around in my room - I jump up and turn the lights on of course freaking out. I go to get the flashlight and can't find anything in my room - obviously I am either paranoid about the "monsters" in my storage shed or am now officially going crazy. Luckily I was able to convince myself I am indeed going crazy and fall asleep quickly.

The next morning I tell Shawna about this and she, dying laughing, assures me it was the squirrels on the roof - to help my sanity I am choosing to 100% believe her.

I am hoping the "monsters" have devoured the poison and are now all dead! Of course I am never venturing in the shed to find out for myself.

If you will recall - during the "Phantom Ice Storm 2007" I found monsters in my storage shed (aka mice). Well since then I have been scared to death to even go within 10 feet of the shed. In fact the few times I have absolutely had to go in there I had to psych myself into it for a full two days. The new ritual for venturing into the storage unit is now

1. Mental preparation
2. Knock twice to give the monsters a heads up that I am coming in
3. Open quickly and step back, access the situation
4. Quickly grab what I need close door and lock it
5. Run into house

So today Cody & Amanda come by to get boxes - I KNOW where the boxes are - they are in the monster aka mice infested unit! So I go through the ritual and spot the collapsed boxes off to the left. "Wait what is that, is that a stick" - then the "stick" moves!

"Well you are my daughter...."

The words from my dear mother tonight - why - well...

Everyday phrases and ideas pop out of me that I think "oh my gosh that was my mother". Today I went to Ulta to get my free Mascara and a couple of hair "necessities" - (free mascara for being an Ulta member and supporting their business so well)

$57 dollars later I waltzed out the door - to this my mother proclaimed "well you are my daughter".

Anyone that knows me knows I am a sucker for a few frivolities of life - hair and makeup products are definitely on the list! I have everything you could possibly need. I am currently using 4 different lotions, 5 different body splashes, 5 different sets of shampoo/conditioner and 5 different hair products. My "dirty" little habit.

On the other hand I pack NO products when going to my mothers b/c last time I was there she was using - 5 different lotions, 4 different sets of shampoo/conditioner and 4 different body washes. I have no idea what all she's got in that FOUR tier makeup case and the closet of hair products puts Walgreen's to shame!

Now on the topic of shoes - well that's for a different day.

At one point in my life - not too long ago - I loathed going to the grocery store. Anyone who knew me then knew that I would rather eat out, go hungry or just whine and whine than go to the store. Why? Because it was a nightmare that I would rather not voluntarily live out over and over. Especially the HEB at Braker & Research!

This store appears as if it was assembled and "organized" by a blind, drunk, insane individual... There is no organization and at one point you and everyone else just wanted to abandon your groceries and scream to the top of your lungs. If more than 2 people were in the checkout lane that meant you, as number 3, were in the produce - in the way - in every part of that store you were in the way.

This is the issue with most grocery stores - they are crowded, they are poorly organized, there is too much stuff, yet you can't find anything you need - mother of 3 enter stage right and let's put the kids in a GIANT car that is supposed to serve as a cart of some kind with Dameon the sugar induced ADD child that is now running into everything in sight. The floors have some kind of blackish gray substance on them - we are going to restock the dairy section in the middle of the day - which by the way I think the dairy section must get stocked everyday. The harsh fluorescent lighting adds to that miserable ambiance we all love so much - and what is that piercing sound above that terrible Muzak and that annoying clerk that feels the need to announce everything - oh that is little Timmy that missed his nap but we are all so fortunate to have the privilege of experiencing his tirade!!

At this point I have made two laps around the store because I couldn't find half of what I needed the first time around. And because I couldn't access the other half of what I needed - thank you Martha Stewart that has chosen to use this time as the"let's stare at the shelves and ponder that next meal I'm going to whip up for dinner!"

Therefore - I LOATHED the grocery store - UNTIL - I moved to North Central Austin and it was far more convenient for me to shop at Central Market and Whole Foods - this is when I entered grocery heaven.

I had always popped in sporadically but kept the bulk of the grocery items to the standard HEB - but now oh now yesssss I will buy everything I need at one of these two locations. I don't care if it costs more people - and yes I can hear every one of you saying this as you read - hush - just read!

You walk in and are welcomed, not by screaming children and confused shoppers. But by happy people and beautiful fruits and vegetables. Each section is fully equipped with their very own department experts - no junior high kids that have been directed to wander the store and offer help despite their lack of knowledge on everything. Everyone here wants to work here - they love their jobs and it shows. No irate cashier that is mad because her boyfriend is sitting at home eating Doritos without her.

The floors are a lovely shade of clean, the shelves are fully stocked - not over stocked, nothing falling off the shelves. There is a soft sound of pleasant music playing in the background.... beautiful flowers adorn the huge variety of almonds, fruits and goodies you can purchase from the bins... This is grocery utopia. And in every corner of the store someone is cooking - just for me. They are all here to feed me, help me, educate me... love me... oh what wait where was I?

Yes it has it's time of being crowded, and yes I have made 3 laps around - but only because I don't want to leave, there are so many interesting things on the shelves, I must discover them all.

And so now I love grocery shopping - I grocery shop multiple times a week and always look forward to it. I eat at home more and that is always a plus. So is it more expensive - cheap groceries vs eating out all the time or higher end groceries and eating at home more.... and ultimately...happiness - I think the choice is obvious!

Thanks Robbie for the carnations you left on my porch - I myself am not a 4 for $2 carnation fan - but if I was Billie (the person the flowers were really left for) I'm sure I'd be thrilled... I know you left your phone number but you could be skitzo for all I know and most importantly it's just too much trouble for me to contact you about carnations!

Moral of the story - If you are going to leave something on someones porch - make sure it's the right someone... If you're going to give flowers - don't give carnations - unless your leaving the carnations on the wrong door - and round and round it goes.

But to those that shared your valentines cookies, candies etc... (all from your children's valentines day parties) I really thank you - mmmm! When I was a teacher we called this day sugar coma day from St. Diabetic.

Had to do it - we wandered out into the icy cold today - three layers on top two on bottom, a cap, hood and gloves! Texans in the winter...

It's so great living a few blocks from a grocery store & from Kerby Lane. We had to avoid the bridges (crossing Shoal Creek) b/c the ice was inches think - it was crazy... But the hour jaunt around the block was worth it - our muscles were beginning to atrophy!!!

3 days of rain, sleet, snow and ice...

Shawna and I have
1. watched an entire season of 24 (season 4 is the best!!) & The Class (3 times - we love Ritchie - if you haven't watched this show your missing 0ut - CBS)
2. watched Little Miss Sunshine & lots of the weather channel
3. turned our living room into an office - we are really needing a copy machine and fax machine at this point!!!
4. gone through almost all of our groceries - have loved us some soups! Thank you Central Market!!!
5. listened to every work conversation in detail either of us have had - while 24 is paused on the DVD
6. Read - in between everything else.
7. Eat, eat and eat more... no wonder people gain weight in the winter!!!
8. Busted out layer upon thermal layer
9. Buster out the heating pad!!!
10. Watched and laughed as I have had to re situate my self - I mean I've got two blankets, a heating pad, pillow, lap top, cell phone and 3 remotes to situate here - every time I get up to go to the bathroom or grab a bite the drama of resituating takes a toll - Shawna now wishes she had been counting from the beginning to see how many times and how long I do this.

Good thing we get along or we would have killed each other by now!!

What to do on day 4??!! Out of 24 - running low on food - may have to risk it and run to the grocery and video store!!! Life as we know it has stopped b/c of weather - wow!

To the mouse in my shed that scared the life out of me this afternoon - I heard you rummaging in that bag of curtains I KNEW I shouldn't have put in there - I heard you and your family and friends - sounded like about 30 of you I'm guessing...

Then I saw you - the ring leader - It was only a brief second but trust me I saw you - you and your beady black eyes - your big ears! And I know you saw me - I also know you heard me scream to the top of my lungs - pretty sure the entire neighborhood heard that one - And then you watched me jump and slam the door in your face.

You didn't see me run into the house, lock the door and insist Shawna come find you. She wouldn't and wanted me to open the door to let you out - but its 30 degrees and wet and you and your crew are all bundled up in my old curtains (that I will now never use again) - your not getting out of there are you - your staying in there until the humidity comes.

Fine! Stay in there - don't you even think about coming in my house!!!! Or I will be forced to buy poison - the kind that makes you disintegrate into dust - or a giant cat!

So I braved the freezing cold and misty rain this morning to walk the hood - I am about 40 minutes away from my house and I see this sign on a traffic barricade that says IF and there is an arrow - so of course I think "If what?"

I look around - no other signs - nothing so I keep going. A few minutes later I come to another sign - once again it says "IF" - briefly I say to myself "Self, do you think a movie is being shot in this area - well when I get home I will look that up..."

Oh no need b/c when I rounded the corner I found my self smack dab in the middle of a production set! Here I am dressed for the Antarctic with only my eyes, noes and mouth exposed (picture wife of una bomber) and there is a movie or something being shot - and to add to it all walking towards me is this GORGEOUS guy with sandy brown hair a little above his shoulders - he looks as if he should be on the fishing boat - "Your a brave woman to be out here in this junk. Yeah tell me about it..."

I refrained from saying "Whatchyall doing out here - shooting a movie?" (insert southern drawl)

But after looking it up I can't find anything - is IF a production company, the name of a movie - what? Were they shooting a scene from Friday Night Lights (TV version) - I guess I'll have to ask my inside source on that last one....

Any ideas?

Wow a month since a new blog post - eh life has gone on right? Good!

I am not one for New Year's Resolutions - I make resolutions every day - in fact my business coach has me fill out what is called a 411 - On this you list out personal and business goals for the year, month, week and daily - It's a New Year's resolution 24/7.

The other day on my very early morning walk (yes me walking in the morning shocking eh?) I realized how many of my goals have been reached over the year - and how incredibly happy I am over that - I found myself saying phrases I NEVER thought I would be saying.

Like....

*I am loving walking in the morning - really I am. The oddity of this is I have fought it for so long, I am the Queen of night owls and the pauper of morning people - I can stay up till 2,3 am no problem but get up before 8am - even 8 is painful. But considering it gets so dark by 6pm in the winter and isn't cool enough to walk till 7pm in the summer - evening walks just haven't been an option - So yes I LOVE walking in the morning!

* I love being 30! It's everything I heard it would be and I love it - you know yourself so much better, your so much more sure of yourself and have such a clearer sense of direction.

*I love my job - I have had such a hard time finding my career niche that now that it has happened I am blown away - Do what you love and you'll love what you do - It's a statement of fact.

Identifying what I love has made me push through the obstacles to my goals - it's cold and gray outside and my bed is so plush and warm - but I love the feeling of the morning brisk walk and the satisfaction that my workout is complete - plus I'm working every day to my fitness goals - so I get up and go.

I'll let you know when my Dr. Malita Identifying Your Loves book is out - or rather Oprah will let you know.

Like most businesses and churches my business and church are doing Angel trees. I'll admit I go crazy over these things - I lived through some tight Christmas' as many people did and maybe that's what I think back to as I browse these trees.

Today though my heart broke as I read some of these cards - warm clothes, pantry items such as baby food and red beans and macaroni. The most basic items in the world! Some of these recipients are considered "elderly" at the ripe old age of 71. My sweet mother is only 65 and I do not consider her old! This really struck a chord, where are these families. Who is taking care of them.

Those in the "elderly" category simply want items such as a HEB gift card, lamp for their nightstand & a can opener!!!! I about took the entire tree home!!

I guess I write this today as an encouragement to grab an Angel when you see it - it's often a gift for less than $10. After seeing shoppers fight over $1000 Playstations and crap they don't need at all this will be a refreshing turn of events - fight over an Angel!!!

Praise God - literally praise Him - Rupert Murdoch, Creator of Fox Broadcasting and Chief Officer of News Corporation, put the big Kibosh on the OJ Simpson book deal and television special that outlined and interviewed how he WOULD of killed Nicole & Ron Goldman IF he had indeed murdered these two innocent humans in cold blood. Murdoch commented "I and senior management agree with the American public that this was an ill-considered project"

When I first heard about this I was absolutely disgusted and disheartened with our culture and media - Fox News (Independent of Fox Broadcasting) led the outcry AGAINST this horrific book & interview! Thank you Fox News!! After being inundated with calls and emails of outraged Americans (finally we fight for something other than Playstations!) Murdoch pulled the plug... Goodbye OJ just goodbye!!

Fox News appropriately cited this was a victory for the American public, it was not government censorship - but us, people who cared enough to make there voices heard!!! Media networks WILL push the envelope as much as they can, as much as we let them....

I have been sick for a week now, I can't shake it. I hate being sick, everyone does... The world seems so blah so grey when you're sick. No going for walks, just burry your head in medicine and tissue. I have purchased three different medicines this week alone and tonight in desperation I turn to aromatherapy....specifically Eucalyptus.

You know the drill, head over a bowl of hot steamy water with a towel over your head... yeah that's the picture, now add Eucalyptus drops to the scene. Well so far so good! For the first time in a week I feel great and can breath.... Chef recommends!

Fingers crossed!

We don't sell Tic Tacs, we sell cigarettes. And they're cool, available, and addictive. The job is almost done for us.

Movie recommendation of the week - Thank You For Smoking.

It's a great parody on the smoking industry, it's lobbyists, the media and those that oppose the industry. No one is exempt from ridicule in this movie. If you walk away changing your mind on smoking - either way - then you most likely weren’t strong in your original belief and are easily swayed by spin doctors.

DVD bonus - check out the deleted scene entitled the "Cigarette Slap" I had to watch it twice....

It astounds me what Americans will fight tooth and nail for - their faith, freedoms, political causes? Noooo - stuff - YES and LOTS of it!

Take for example the Round Rock Ikea opening. Let's pop tents and camp out for 3 days and stand in line for hours, to be the first for all the free crap giveaways!!! Hey you mean the crap that in a year we will be tossing into the garage... yep... and in two years we will just be tossing... YEP! Ok let's do it, I'll bring my lap top so we can take off of work, loaf around and watch movies and eat pizza!

Sorry I don't have time to volunteer with any organizations, kids no time to play today, I don't have the money to give to orphan relief and the fight against Aids- I've got a line to stand in!!! Because after this we are on our way to Best Buy to stand in line for hours and hours for a Play Station that is already selling for thousands on Ebay!!!! And now 3 days of my life on this earth are gone - sweet!!!

PS I think I need to get away from local news for a bit - I have been reading the Statesman online to see whats happening in my beloved city - and every day I do my blood pressure gets the best of me!

So I foolishly met the family at the Mall on Saturday - I'm pretty sure this is what hell will be like only darker and hotter and an increased number of screaming children.

First scene, the infamous food court. Storefronts of greasy, fatty low quality food at an incredible cheap price. Mmmm nothing makes my mouth water more than watching an overweight guy with his big hot mama chomping into a thick over sized slice of greasy pizza! Hey look there is a kid with ice cream all over her face, mmm I'll have that. And the vomit over by the little quarter rides, that does an appetite good! Oh hey we get to step over a spilt milk shake - what fun!

It is truly depressing - watching people wander up the mall and down the mall. Not buying anything just wandering. Parading their kids in front of crap they now won’t let them have. Listening to children scream over what they MUST have - I'm hearing the brat from Willy Wonka in my head..."but Daddy, I want an Umpa Loompa NOW!" A beautiful Fall afternoon spent in the mall.

I've never been a mall person and this is partly why, if I want to check out a particular store I run in and run out - forgoing the mall crawl. And a mall on vacation is the most ludicrous and sad thing I can think of... Upon returning from beautiful San Diego someone actually asked me if I visited the huge outlet mall there (????) oh yes I flew thousands of miles to see one of the most beautiful parts of our country and decided to spend what precious time I have there huddled inside a mall, feasting on the gourmet treats of the food court- brilliant!

And that’s my 2 cents for the day….Tune in next time to hear the rantings of WAL-MART - aka Satan’s Dominion!

So apparently Austin's very own and very beloved Whole Food's is selling wind - or rather wind cards!

Apparently WF's "purchased the largest share of wind energy credits in the nation. They became the first major national corporation to buy enough renewable energy credits to make up for all of their energy usage." So now you can buy $5 & $15 wind cards - what do the cards do - not a dang thing - but blow through your money apparently. They are supposed to represent 'credits' - but you don't get anything - but a plastic card to stick on your fridge... hey thanks Whole Food's I have NOTHING to do with my money - I'm so glad you are here to help me figure out a complete waste of it!

OH WAIT - I have it all wrong you say? The money I spend on this card will go towards marketing wind power? Oh my bad!!! Here let me give more to your marketing cause then - what was I selfishly thinking???? I'm so glad someone is getting use of my money!

Hey Whole Food's, stick to feeding the world - one health nut (including myself at times) at a time! Oh but hold on I'm thinking about printing out a bunch of card board cards selling time - for every $5 you give me I'll sell time - just give me your money... I promise I'll do it, and then one day you'll look up and say, "wow look at all this time I have, thanks Malita for helping the world save time by your marketing scheme".... Or maybe I should sell gravity hmmm I'm on it!

Tonight I was having dinner with a friend at Whole Foods - it's always a fun easy spot for dinner - we were eating and enjoying the mild October weather and discussing selfishness and how it is a daily struggle in our life. The conversation went on and we began to talk about vacations - he had thought about going to Africa this next summer. This woman sitting at the table next to us spoke up saying "I couldn't help hearing your conversation about Africa, have you been" Neither of us had but we fell easily into conversation with her.

Her name was Cory and she was a writer and producer, she recently moved here from L.A. She does medical relief work and works with orphans in West Africa. She proceeded to tell us how she got started and the different projects and people she had encountered. It was great talking to her - so we got her website did introductions and went on with our evening. In our world of cell phones, computers and highways we are so disconnected with the general public. As we walked away Brennan pointed out that really we are so connected in a way - everyone has a story and we are not that different, it just takes us taking a minute to say hello and listen. He's right, as I read her blog I realized there were more similarities than differences.

On her sidebar she quotes George Bernard Shaw and then speaks of struggling in her daily life against selfishness. The very topic Brennan and I had just been discussing. The Shaw quote speaks of living life with a purpose and finishing life exhausted. The very things that as a Christian I struggle and pray for in my own life.

I love Texas and I love Austin for this very reason, you don't have to be a stranger to anyone.

You too can look like an oversized toddler: I mean if Rosie is their fashion icon, it's time to bail...

I do not heart crocs! What in the holy sam hill has happened to this world - apparently Mickey Mouse has taken over the fashion footwear and it is ok to look like a clown! I mean on a child it's fine - just like bibs, diapers etc - but on an adult it's just sad!! (oh and nurses walking halls all day long.... ok, but after hours out of the toddler shoes please)

Thankfully the "hard working" blog community has also taken up this stance and is pumping out some pretty hysterical info on the anti Croc stand.... but when I start seeing wedding parties being fitted for the mickey mouse clown shooes I just have to shudder...

Wedding Croc? Croc's with Socks? (this is what pushed me over the edge)

The Gallery of Horrors Indeed!

I HateCrocs.com - Me Too!!

This came across my desk a few days ago - deed restrictions for Sunset Valley - for those that don't know Sunset Valley is just off Brodie and Hwy 290 (South Austin) it used to be it's own little town but Austin swallowed it up - however it is still a township so if you live there you don't pay Austin city taxes, they have a separate Police Dept etc...

So these are deed restrictions (tells you what you can and can not do with the land/lot in a particular subdivision) - the problem was this area really doesn't have subdivisions the way Austin does so you just get deed restrictions from the town as a whole - and they are VERY dated - these particular restrictions were dated June 14, 1947

"No part of the premises here conveys shall hereafter be conveyed to, owned by, held for, or rented to any person EXCEPT of Caucasian descent; provided, however, that the plause shall not prevent the employment of persons or other descent to work on the premises herein conveyed."

WOW - if you have difficulty reading lawyer jargon basically it says only white folks can own or rent the land - unless you are working for said white person and you need to live in the back house...

HYSTERICAL - obviously these are not valid anymore but apparently the person that sent them to me didn't read them before they sent them. Think I'll be shreading them before I get a call from Jesse Jackson.

1. The Great New Wonderful - mmmm ????? - not much else to say on this one - it was very very odd (and not in a great indie sort of way) - now I love thinkers I love to finish a movie and be able to ponder on it for hours, days even, peeling away the layers of the onion - those glorious aha moments - but this one was so disconnected that we literally found ourselves talking over huge chunks of dialogue and not needing to rewind once - ps I swear my co horts and I could work for mystery science theater - and this would be a great MST flick.
2. Love's Long Journey - Michael Landon JR produced this Jannette Oak series - she is a Christian author and is fabulous - this series is so wonderful - much more of a female driven audience by far - but it is a beautiful series that tugs your heart - they hit a home run in expressing Christ's love, faith and endurance. And it has cutie men's in it, including James Tupper from the new cute TV show Men in Trees.
   
3. The Lake House - Oh my gosh, I have heard so many mixed reviews on this one - and at first I thought this is going to be just like the Message in a Bottle which I hated - but it wasn't and I loved it, definitely one of those films you can ponder on discuss, dissect and mull around hours later. And the music was great.
   

*All reviews are in my humble opinion of course - give or take them.

Thank you Gil - whom I have known since the wonderful awkward Jr High days - referred me to Elliot for a haircut and he was great - very fun to, definitly a character - I see why they are friends... But hey $40 for a wash cut and style - HOW can you beat it???

So Gil wins the $10 gift certificate of his choosing - he chooses Starbucks

On another note - Two thumbs up to this weather we are having, actually feels like fall. Which with the lack of rain and everything dying it has looked like fall since August - glad the temp has caught up with the scenery....

One last note - I LOVE THIS CITY - It's so great to come home to a city this cool and gorgeous after being in fabulous San Diego - Hopefully I'll remember to grab my camera on my walk today and you'll too see why I heart Austin! Stay tuned...

Turning 30 YIKES - Going to San Diego with awesome friends for your bday - AWESOME!

Highlights...

• Staying downtown in a 1913 hotel - with the original elevator, used to be fastest in world - wow how the world has changed, we aged waiting on it...
• Three girls in a cracker box room with ONE bed - and a cot - hotel sold out of rooms b/c of skateboarding convention - down with HOTWIRE by the way!
• Enjoying wine and jazz at Croce's
• Happy Birthday serenade by Italian waiters
• Buying 25 avacado's for $5 and 6 Mangos for $2 - hope the people in Phoenix airport enjoy what we accidentially left behind.
• House hunting with Ash and ending up in the barrio - no wonder this is so cheap look there is the border!
• Cute guys everywhere, and so friendly - why are Austin guys such snobs we ask
• Realizing how much we say ya'll when everyone points it out to us - what the heck does the rest of the world say instead?
• Seals, so cute!
• Locking the keys in the car after changing in the car to go to the beach
• Ukrainian locksmith
• Driving up the coast listening & singing along to the music
• Food food food - we found some incredible local spots!

Seals at La Jolla











Incredible HUGE flowers everywhere











Incredible Coast

And 75 degrees Everyday!

We also discovered it's the mecca of cute friendly guys...

So this year I have gone through 2 hair dressers! Tragic!! I have always had problems with hair dressers b/c well if you have seen the beast of curly hair you'd know why.

First hair dresser was cheap and didn't give me a fro but she also wasn't imaginative - and there was at times a language/cultural barrier. Second hair dresser (I say this with sincere sadness) got too expensive. She was AWESOME and I loved her but after only going to her once she hiked up her prices to $70 for just a flippin haircut - argggggghhh! Thus my new delimma.

I need a new hairstylist - she must:

1. Be affordable - no more than $50 is my preference (I'd prefer $45)
2. Know how to handle natural curly aka kinky hair

If you can provide me a referral that I like you get a $10 gift card of your choosing!

Six more days till the big Black Horse Grim Reaper birthday - he's rounding the corner, nostrils flared, takes no prisoners - I can see his beady eyes.

I kid - kinda... But it is a bit freaky to think I'm turning 30. The passage of time couldn't be more evident to me as it is right now, I truly feel like I just graduated college a couple of years ago, heck highschool for that matter. I don't feel like I should be entering this stage of adulthood yet... C.S. Lewis said that we are truly eternal beings b/c we feel robbed by the passage of time, it's almost unnatural - injustice (paraphrased).

However!!! It is true, you do get better as you get older - well at least I feel like I have. I would NOT go back to my early or mid 20's for anything!!! Ugh - not having a clue what I want to do, people not taking you seriously - no thanks... Oh and not to forget the many pounds I have shedded over the years!

NO 30 isn't old, NO I don't feel old, NO I don't want to go back - it's just a bit surreal and as I reflect it is just very odd to think of myself in such adult terms....

Remember when you thought by the time you were 30 you would be SO old - I mean grandkids would just be around the corner - well maybe not that old but you get it... The only thing on my checklist that is not complete by the time I'm 30 is hubby, kids and house - I am TOTALLY fine not having a house or kids right now!!!!! In fact I'm grateful - and the hubby could come in the next few days - I mean I am going to San Diego next week.... KIDDING!!!

I care nothing about raindrops on roses or whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens...but I do love

• Freshly ground coffee - with cream and brown sugar...mmm yes I said brown sugar
• Wine - Sauvignon Blanc (New Zealand) or Ravenswood Zinfandel
• Beer - Heineken, Dos XX....
• Shrimp
• Sleep - and lots of it
• Staying up really really late - especially playing
• Falling in love with a new song
• Rainy days on the couch with a movie
• Walking the Northwest Hills - even the uphill part
• Hair Products
• jewelry
• Staying in new towns for an extended amount of time
• Epics or Sagas
• Bakeries
• Good cooks, cooking for me
• Hugs - strong hugs
• Cuddling with my nieces & nephew (singular on nephew b/c Jayce is a preteen and too big to cuddle anymore - sad)
• Taking pictures
• My bed (feather bed)
• Discovering new parts of my town (new to me that is)
• Reuniting with old friends
• Swings
• Sailboats
• Text Messages
• New Emails
• Getting my new Health Magazine

I think I could list favorites all day, and somehow it makes me feel so warm inside - give it a try.

I am completely a music snob - I don't just love anything....I say that so you will understand how much I truly LOVE this CD and this artist....the fabulous, wonderful and insanely talented Erin Ivey.

Erin departed Austin a little less than a year ago to go to Peoria....yes Peoria. The time there has done her well, NOTHING to distract you in Peoria, so she has written and written and has at last released her first EP. So I got the CD in the mail Saturday and popped it in the car CD. WOW - I was floored by what I heard. I mean I love Erin and know how talented she is but I was not prepared for the greatness that was streaming through my player.

So I highly recommend this CD - check it out you will not be disappointed. Oh and she got a feature on Ink - very cool.... You can also check out her MySpace Page

Ok many of you may remember the now infamous cell phone rant 2006 - the battle continues.

Part Deux is: DON'T, DO NOT - call me earlier than 9am unless you are bleeding, vomiting uncontrollable, being mugged, being held ransom, just won the lottery and want to share it with me etc. You get the idea...

#1 my phone will ring - I do not silence it b/c it is the only phone I have had for years and if there is an emergency I'd hate to miss it b/c I silenced it b/c some dumb A decided to call me at an UNGODLY hour like 7am!

#2 I will be incoherent -I am not a morning person and therefore can not be held accountable to what I say or do not say - in fact it will be a miracle if actual english words even come out of my mouth at that point.

#3 Really this can't wait - you can't call at a more decent time? Like 11?

DO NOT then leave a 10 minute message that I have to sit and listen to and then say "so..call me back". WHY? What else could you possibly need to say!!! Ever heard of paraphrasing? This is a rant in and of itself - why in the world are you still talking, shut up, I'm pressing 7 now delete delete delete!

And early morning texting is no better - why, b/c my phone still makes a noise that most likely wake me up!!!

I think I can almost forgive the drunk dial or drunk text over the early morning I'm up so the rest of the world should be too call!

And speaking of craziness and such this picture is too funny - it's titles employee of the month! And I thought the cell phones in the stall was bad.